Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
