Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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