Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
