my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
