I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
