All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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