u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
