im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
