Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
