You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
