He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
