you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Everclear isn't food dammit
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
