when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Blood and glitter go together right?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
