i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
