it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Apparently you make a good broom.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
