So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
