I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this will be a night to untag.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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