after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
