We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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