You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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