you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This is the high leading the old right now
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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