oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Soap is not a condiment
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
