just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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