i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
