Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
