ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My breasts were aching with rage.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
