My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
