do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
