if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
