Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
