Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
