some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
