Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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