WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
