Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
