Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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