I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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