R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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