Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
