i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
