If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm at about main and main street
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
