I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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