i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
