Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
