I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
