Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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