yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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