His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
