I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
