Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
